Here’s another poem Discipline by George Herbert, a metaphysical poet.
Discipline
By George Herbert
Throw away thy rod,
Throw away thy wrath;
O my God,
Take the gentle path.
For my heart’s desire
Unto thine is bent;
I aspire
To a full consent.
Not a word or look
I affect to own,
But by book,
And thy book alone.
Though I fail, I weep;
Though I halt in pace,
Yet I creep
To the throne of grace.
Then let wrath remove;
Love will do the deed:
For with love
Stony hearts will bleed.
Love is swift of foot;
Love’s a man of war,
And can shoot,
And can hit from far.
Who can ‘scape his bow?
That which wrought on thee,
Brought thee low,
Needs must work on me.
Throw away thy rod;
Though man frailties hath,
Thou art God:
Throw away thy wrath.
Previously, I’ve analyzed the structure of Herbert’s poems. Here’s a brief analysis of Discipline by George Herbert and a poem I wrote inspired by this poem’s structure.
The poem has eight verses. Each verse has four lines. The rhyme structure is aba’b’. Each line ends with a masculine foot (stressed). The feet are trochaic. The line lengths are four, four, two, and 4 feet long. What is the poem about? The poem is the thing, so read it several times!
Though I am no Herbert, still, going to the experts is a good way of improving one’s poetry. One difference is while all the lines of Hebert’s has the same number of beats and offbeats for the three and two foot lines, mine is more flexible on the offbeats.
Sword Dance
By Paul J. Chamberlain
Scripture and creation,
The double symphony,
God’s revelation
Sings in harmony.
“Scriptures” and “seen by”,
Joint sinewed to joint,
God can’t lie,
Whirls in counterpoint.
Wield the two-edged sword —
In stereo be heard;
As our Lord,
Deed must match the word.
As Christ is myth made fact,
David’s Lord and Son,
Speech and act —
The two shall become one.
If you see the need,
If you’ll take the chance,
Word and deed
Shall praise Him in the dance.